“The ultimate goal of therapy… it’s too hard a question. The words come to me like tranquillity... fulfilment... realising your potential.”
Irvin D Yalom
This quote resonates with me so powerfully that when I first read it, I immediately added it to the first page of my website! I also knew that I wanted to write about it because the very moment I read it, my brain was overwhelmed with thoughts – the overriding one being:
“YES, THIS!”
I feel that in such a beautifully simplistic way, it says it all, and I think the reason that it had such an effect on me is because it is so very, profoundly, true…
People come to counselling with an awareness of something – whether specific (for example, relationship difficulties), or perhaps a little more vague (like feeling overwhelmed or lost in life), either way, these challenges are within their awareness: They know about them.
In my experience though, as trust in the therapeutic relationship grows and the counselling space begins to feel more familiar and comfortable, clients’ become more able and willing to really open up, to allow their thoughts to flow and to acknowledge their feelings, they start to recognise other things - underlying things that have been affecting them in some way. This means that they have the opportunity to process and heal issues that weren’t even within their awareness to start with. Counselling really can be such a transformative and healing journey to take.
I think everyone has their own idea of what Counselling is - I recently saw a comedian talking of his initial thoughts - that you go to see someone whose role is to “fix” you, and discovered to his surprise that actually, a counsellor is someone who helps you to “fix” yourself by giving you the space and tools to become more self-aware. It really can be an empowering process.
Honestly, I can’t tell you what counselling would do for you specifically, because it differs from one unique individual to the next and people each come for their own unique reasons. I can say though, that over the years, my clients have shared that they have:
Become more self-aware (not to be underestimated, as with this you feel more in control of yourself and your responses to the world)
Found that simply “talking” has helped them to acknowledge and work through their challenges
Been better able to express themselves outside of sessions due to finding more clarity on their thoughts and feelings
Felt empowered and capable
Healed issues with others (past or present) without even needing to talk with them directly, but by reflecting on and exploring their own current perspective - and therefore gaining new perspective
Regained a sense of direction and inspiration
Experienced a sense of self-discovery - a very real connection to who they truly are rather than who others want / need them to be
Overcome long avoided difficulties
As I type this list, I’m both awed, and flooded with examples - I realise that there is so much “good stuff” that has come of these counselling journey’s that I just can’t include it all. It really is quite the task trying to express just how much positive change can come from it!
I truly feel so very honoured to share these journeys with my clients - to witness their bravery of facing what, at times can be a difficult journey, to hear the adversities they have made it through, to be alongside them as they forge forwards in their pursuit of healing and to see the incredible progress they make and the positive ways in which that impacts their lives. They amaze and inspire me each and every day.
To my clients:
Those who have been, those who are and those who are yet to come,
THANK YOU, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!
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